I’ve had a bit of a crap couple of weeks and it’s really affected me particularly over the last weekend. Which coincided with my period arriving, me not really looking after myself very well and not getting enough sleep.
What a great combination! It led to me crying on Thursday morning wondering what I’d done with my life that had led to this horrible moment and a general feeling of ‘why does nothing ever go right for me’. Cut to Tuesday morning after a bit more sleep, a weekend of being outside and doing a walk every day, as well as spending some time with friends and family, it’s a different story.
I also had a session with my coach this morning who helped me put things in perspective a little more.
So what happened? Well, I left the job I’d been struggling with in February with a little money to last me 2-3 months and wanted to concentrate on building my coaching business back up again. I spent a while looking after myself and thinking about what I was going to do and then I’ve been slowly working up to being at full pace again.
I’ve absolutely loved the last couple of months, but as it’s been a slower pace than I’d expected, I’m now in a position where I need some regular income to pay my bills again. Like the wise woman I am, I decided that I didn’t need to think about such things while I was busy crafting my lovely business and talking to some truly wonderful people. So I let it slide and let it slide, then all of a sudden, BAM. I realised I need to pay some bills. And there will be some more coming soon. Ugh.
But instead of accepting this, I was tired and started listening to the foot-stamping toddler in my head who was screaming “BUT I DON’T WANT TO GET A JOB”. It was an epic tantrum! And it all ended in tears of course.
At the time, I just knew that things were wrong and needed to be fixed but I didn’t know how and was frantically reaching out for anything I could think of to appease the toddler. Instead of sitting down and working out how we could work together, I just wanted it to be quiet. So I tried chocolate, I tried a bit of alcohol (please be assured I would not give a real toddler alcohol!!!), I tried some TV and none of this was the solution.
So I went for some walks, I spoke to people about how I felt and I journalled about how I felt. It was helpful but what I really needed was some sleep and a different perspective.
Last night I got some of the sleep and this morning I got the different perspective. I don’t suddenly feel full of the joys of spring, because now I’ve got stuff to do (ugh)! But I don’t feel like I’m chasing my tail wondering what’s going to help and trying all of the unhelpful stuff to see if that works.
I was lucky this time because I knew exactly what the problem was but I can remember feeling this way a few times in the past and one of the things that really helped me when I had an ongoing feeling that everything was crap, was an exercise I’m now sharing with you.
It helps you look at your life as a whole. Because you as a person, are not just one thing. You have family, friends, career, education, finances to think about. Some things are doing ok but some are bringing the other parts down.
I’ve made this into a free download so you can start looking at what your internal toddler is having a tantrum about. It gives you the opportunity to see what the real story is in your life and what could benefit from a different perspective.
If you’re interested in checking it out, you can download it here - https://www.kirstismith.co.uk/break-free-from-feeling-stuck. And as a preview, there will be a workshop around this coming soon!
The good news for me now is that I’m feeling much calmer and more in control of my situation so I know what’s next and how I need to get there. It’s a million miles away from how I felt last week and I’m really glad of that.
If you’re looking for more of that, check out my download and see how you get on with it 💖